Hello there -
Been in my head the past few days - and just wanted a minute to be there. Not a bad place, just a place to get away from being unnumb.
Also - I didn't want to come up with 5 lame songs just to come up with songs.
First song - is a no brainer if you've read my post of the favorite quotes. Nothing Else Matters by Metallica. The ballad is beautiful. Timeless. And transparent. I love it.
Second song - Deliver Me by Sarah Brightman. It's from one of my all time favorite movies on friendship, love, sacrafice, and courage - Brokedown Palace. I fell in love with song when I was pregnant with my Ella. I was so lost. Didn't know where I was going, didn't know how to conquer motherhood, and this just hit the spot. In the 12 years that my Ella has been on this earth with me, every time I hear it, I fall even more in love with her. She's my rock. She has shown me my way without doing a darn thing. I hope I'm everything for her too.
Third Song - Turn the Page by either Metallica or Bob Seger. It's a classic. I could listen to it over and over and over again. And have.
Forth Song - 4 Non Blondes - What's UP. It's a great song. It kicks my ass in karaoke, but it's one that every body sings with you on.
Fifth and final song - Mayonaisse by the Smashing Pumpkins. Another great ballad that resonates a place from my early teenage years. Another lost place. Another place where I was trying to find myself, figure out the pain, and understand the future.
Sunday, June 17, 2018
Wednesday, June 13, 2018
Blog Challenge - Day 6 - What Are You Afraid Of?
What am I afraid of?
In all honesty - everything.
I'm afraid of being alone forever, even though I have a wonderful support system of friends, family, and coworkers. But, I'm afraid I will never find that one true love that I get to share this life with.
I'm afraid that I will never continue to succeed.
That one day someone will tell me I'm not worth it.
That I will become ill to the point where I can not work, take care of others, or result in death.
I'm afraid that my daughter will follow my exact footsteps. Even though - they've brought me to where I'm at, I'm still not as satisified as to where I'm at. I want more for us.
I'm afraid that I will never be content with myself. I will never be happy. I will never just live.
I am afraid that people see me as selfish, untrustworthy, or rude.
I'm afraid of caterpillars.
I'm afraid of death, hurt, and failure.
I'm afraid of taking chances and succeeding or failing.
I'm afraid of disappointnment.
In all honesty - everything.
I'm afraid of being alone forever, even though I have a wonderful support system of friends, family, and coworkers. But, I'm afraid I will never find that one true love that I get to share this life with.
I'm afraid that I will never continue to succeed.
That one day someone will tell me I'm not worth it.
That I will become ill to the point where I can not work, take care of others, or result in death.
I'm afraid that my daughter will follow my exact footsteps. Even though - they've brought me to where I'm at, I'm still not as satisified as to where I'm at. I want more for us.
I'm afraid that I will never be content with myself. I will never be happy. I will never just live.
I am afraid that people see me as selfish, untrustworthy, or rude.
I'm afraid of caterpillars.
I'm afraid of death, hurt, and failure.
I'm afraid of taking chances and succeeding or failing.
I'm afraid of disappointnment.
Tuesday, June 12, 2018
Blog Challenge - Day 5 - Your Proudest Moment
Day 5...
Proudest Moment...
MY proudest moment.
Gotta be honest, I don't have a clue anymore. I'm a proud mother, friend, coworker, and person.
There's been many moments in Ella's life that I've been so incredibly proud that it hurts, but that's being proud of her, not of myself.
I guess my moment would be when I accepted a job as an Account Manager. The promotion changed my life. I remember the feeling of emotion that went through my entire body as I read the offer letter, and saw the $56K as my base salary noted. Plus incentives.
I could quit my 2nd job. I could finally be someone in the US Foods world.
I was so excited!
Proudest Moment...
MY proudest moment.
Gotta be honest, I don't have a clue anymore. I'm a proud mother, friend, coworker, and person.
There's been many moments in Ella's life that I've been so incredibly proud that it hurts, but that's being proud of her, not of myself.
I guess my moment would be when I accepted a job as an Account Manager. The promotion changed my life. I remember the feeling of emotion that went through my entire body as I read the offer letter, and saw the $56K as my base salary noted. Plus incentives.
I could quit my 2nd job. I could finally be someone in the US Foods world.
I was so excited!
Monday, June 11, 2018
Blog Challenge - Day 4 - Your Dream Job
Dream job...
Well, of course, it would be something where money would definietly be no object.
I would want to volunteer at a community center, help bring programs to life, serve the community, and help get more involvement into the communities.
I love working with my hands, managing projects, and wowing people every chance I get.
The community center would have to have an endless budget as well. Nobody should have to go without.
That's my dream job.
Well, of course, it would be something where money would definietly be no object.
I would want to volunteer at a community center, help bring programs to life, serve the community, and help get more involvement into the communities.
I love working with my hands, managing projects, and wowing people every chance I get.
The community center would have to have an endless budget as well. Nobody should have to go without.
That's my dream job.
Sunday, June 10, 2018
Blog Challenge - Day 3 - Your Favorite Quote
Your favorite quote...
Your favorite quote....
So hard to narrow down to just one, but there are two that immediately come to mind.
The first one is from the Marines.
You can kinda associate this with everything internal and external. I've always loved this statement. It found me after my break up with the ex who beat the piss outta me. No, I'm not a Marine. But... the more I think of it, I am kinda a bad ass for all the shit I've been through. And everytime the shit takes me down a notch, I ALWAYS come out stronger and tougher. I may be bruised and I'll limp a bit, but I always allow the pain to escape.
The second one is something that comes from my all time favorite song.
For me, it will always trump every other song in the world.
I will forever love this song.
It will forever change my day when I hear it.
It always has a way of sending a shiver up my spine and radiates me.
When I get hitched to Mr Right, I want to walk down the aisle to these words being played musically.
When I hear this song and feel the words it helps shift my mind about a person, project, or sometimes myself.
Just my song.
Everyone who knows me, associates me with this song.
It's Nothing Else Matters by Metallica:
So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
And nothing else matters
Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
And nothing else matters
Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters
Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
But I know
Saturday, June 9, 2018
Blog Challenge - Day 2 - 20 Random Facts About You
June 9th
1) I like to bake
2) I go to kickboxing classes
3) My favorite color is purple
4) I have no idea what I'm doing with my life
5) I own my own home
6) I am a single mother to a 12 year old Mini Me
7) I love EVERYTHING about St Paul
8) I have to sleep with the blankets touching my face
9) Coffee black - please. Unless it's a fancy coffee, then let's get technical - Extra shot of espresso, Almond Milk, just a skosh of sweetner, and an even tinier skosh of flavor
10) I fricking LOVE Metallica
11) I quit smoking 311 days ago (but who's counting) (and I'm now addicted to the nicotine gum)
12) I have some OCD tendencies on the weirdest crap. From the way someone cuts a sammich, to others grammar
13) I'm in love with Target, Menards, Aldi's, and the Goodwill
14) I've never been water skiing
15) I've never been married
16) I love dogs, but have never had a dog
17) I have two cats - that wouldn't allow me to have a dog
18) I grew up learning the restaurant industry - not so much cooking cheffy like, but being in the chaotic industry and I thrive in it.
19) I like fruit
20) I love LOVE to volunteer my time to organizations, other people, or practically just give myself to others and never take care of me.
Done.
1) I like to bake
2) I go to kickboxing classes
3) My favorite color is purple
4) I have no idea what I'm doing with my life
5) I own my own home
6) I am a single mother to a 12 year old Mini Me
7) I love EVERYTHING about St Paul
8) I have to sleep with the blankets touching my face
9) Coffee black - please. Unless it's a fancy coffee, then let's get technical - Extra shot of espresso, Almond Milk, just a skosh of sweetner, and an even tinier skosh of flavor
10) I fricking LOVE Metallica
11) I quit smoking 311 days ago (but who's counting) (and I'm now addicted to the nicotine gum)
12) I have some OCD tendencies on the weirdest crap. From the way someone cuts a sammich, to others grammar
13) I'm in love with Target, Menards, Aldi's, and the Goodwill
14) I've never been water skiing
15) I've never been married
16) I love dogs, but have never had a dog
17) I have two cats - that wouldn't allow me to have a dog
18) I grew up learning the restaurant industry - not so much cooking cheffy like, but being in the chaotic industry and I thrive in it.
19) I like fruit
20) I love LOVE to volunteer my time to organizations, other people, or practically just give myself to others and never take care of me.
Done.
Friday, June 8, 2018
Blog Challenge - Day 1 - "Your Blogs Name"
June 8th -
Day 1 - Your Blog's Name....
I need to change my mindset - yet again. I need to focus on achieving a goal, whether it's small or large, so why not try and challenge my mind with some writing?
So, I googled "Blog Challenges" and this is the first one that came up:
https://www.pinterest.com/madison_23/30-day-challenges/ |
Well my "screen name" BakingMomma... is kinda obvious, I'm a baking Mom. I used to bake ALL THE DARN TIME. I'd bake for bake sales, birthday parties, grad parties, just because parties, going away parties, and weddings.
It started with baking to just bake, the smell of the oven baking whatever was so relaxing to me. Like incense to a stoner. And then I noticed I just kept baking, and baking, and baking... This was about 8 years ago where I would just bake to bake. It was something that I did to get my mind away from the chaos that was battling in my brain. I had just gotten out of a seriously effed up relationship and fell into baking. Then a friend of mine suggested to learn how to decorate, so I took a few decorating class... started selling my baking creations... but it just wasn't as fulfilling. It took the fun out of baking.
And then the Momma portion of my screen name is self explanatory. I'm a momma to a beautiful daughter - who is now 12 going on 20. I have 2 fur baby cats - Leroy and Aries. And I practically am a Momma to everyone I meet. I care for everyone, I have a home that everyone can walk into and just relax and enjoy themselves. I'm a Momma through and through.
Now... to go with my the name of my blog "So Cliche...but, JUST Do it". I've always battled weight. Losing weight, keeping it off, and allowing myself to succeed in anything. A lot of it has to do with having a narcissistic mother, in every time I get ahead with something, she's done it better and faster AND if I don't do it her way, it's not the right way.
Any whosits - I just need to do it, I don't think I'm ready though. I need to grab ahold of my health and just allow myself to lose weight and be healthy. I've quit smoking - I should be able to lose 80-100 lbs.
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