So, Sunday early afternoon and I am feeling incredibly pissed off.
It's MEA weekend and I haven't been able to do a damn thing with my kid. Well, one that includes us leaving the house.
Wanna know why? Because I'm broke.
I paid all my bills and my account is in the negative.
Now, I could charge an afternoon of fun with my lil lady, but that makes me even more disgusted.
I was on my way to kickboxing this morning and I turned around. I have never done that before. Ever.
I'm so mad at myself and now I'm taking it out on Ella. UGH!
She baked a cake last night and in flipping it out of the pan it broke. There's no fixing it, so I suggested that she make cake balls. Well - she decided to use all the damn sprinkles that we have in 12 cake balls. This shit pisses me off. Not only did she not ask if she could, she just did it and now she's upset with herself because the cake balls are an FUGLY color.
I'm just irritated all over the board.
I came home to hang with Ella because it feels like I never see her and here I am pissed off at her, myself, and everyone else. I want to shake this mood, but I don't know how.
I should've gone to kickboxing. I should have never turned around. I'm so mad at myself.
I gotta get outta this funk. Not sure how though.
I should've gone to kickboxing.
Sunday, October 21, 2018
Something has been on my mind...
Recently a friend reconnected with me. We'll call him C. C and I have known each other for about 10+ years.
We became friends when I worked with Medica. We've tried doing the romantical thing, the friend thing, and the coworker thing.
Last time I saw and spoke with C, wasn't the greatest. I was hurt and frustrated with him and was tired of what seemed like a game that he was playing with myself and my daughter. So, I told him how disappointed I was and even though he apologized, I couldn't get over it.
Nobody disappoints my daughter. And if you're a friend of mine and you promise something to my daughter and don't have the decency to explain the disappointment, then you can kick rocks.
Well, anywho... Here I am, busy living my life with my mini, and he contacts me back. After 3+ years... we've only texted to play catch up, and I'm still pissed at him.
Even more so after he had the balls to recently tell me that I am too involved in my responsibilities to achieve my deserved happiness.
Now, it's been weeks since we've brought that shit up, but it's stuck in my head. I know he's full of shit, but when I take a step back and look at all that I do, I do just surround myself with my responsibilities.
I don't hide behind them, like he thinks I do.
I focus on them because when I accomplish them, it makes me happy.
It's 9:30 on a Sunday morning and I'm almost done with my chores. That's HUGE for me, and helps with my internal happiness. My daughter is happy and healthy because I can keep myself centered enough to focus on being happy too.
I will have to say, I do put her and my responsibilities in front of my own desires, and it's a learning process for me. I want to do better for me. It's all baby steps in learning how to grow, right?
I know where he's going with his statement though, he's more concerned about my marital status and that I have not allowed a man to help and love me.
I don't need it. I've got plenty of friends and family around me that are in the same boat, or have been, and in my opinion, their life is beautiful.
Absolutely beautiful.
So screw you C. You can't win my brain battles. I am learning to love myself. You just don't see the true beauty because you're hiding behind text messages.
We became friends when I worked with Medica. We've tried doing the romantical thing, the friend thing, and the coworker thing.
Last time I saw and spoke with C, wasn't the greatest. I was hurt and frustrated with him and was tired of what seemed like a game that he was playing with myself and my daughter. So, I told him how disappointed I was and even though he apologized, I couldn't get over it.
Nobody disappoints my daughter. And if you're a friend of mine and you promise something to my daughter and don't have the decency to explain the disappointment, then you can kick rocks.
Well, anywho... Here I am, busy living my life with my mini, and he contacts me back. After 3+ years... we've only texted to play catch up, and I'm still pissed at him.
Even more so after he had the balls to recently tell me that I am too involved in my responsibilities to achieve my deserved happiness.
Now, it's been weeks since we've brought that shit up, but it's stuck in my head. I know he's full of shit, but when I take a step back and look at all that I do, I do just surround myself with my responsibilities.
I don't hide behind them, like he thinks I do.
I focus on them because when I accomplish them, it makes me happy.
It's 9:30 on a Sunday morning and I'm almost done with my chores. That's HUGE for me, and helps with my internal happiness. My daughter is happy and healthy because I can keep myself centered enough to focus on being happy too.
I will have to say, I do put her and my responsibilities in front of my own desires, and it's a learning process for me. I want to do better for me. It's all baby steps in learning how to grow, right?
I know where he's going with his statement though, he's more concerned about my marital status and that I have not allowed a man to help and love me.
I don't need it. I've got plenty of friends and family around me that are in the same boat, or have been, and in my opinion, their life is beautiful.
Absolutely beautiful.
So screw you C. You can't win my brain battles. I am learning to love myself. You just don't see the true beauty because you're hiding behind text messages.
Sunday, July 29, 2018
Day 11 - Blog Challenge - 10 Favorite Foods
How could I just limit myself to 10 foods?
I love food. I love it a bit too much.
Love it more than I love myself sometimes.
Which is a vicious cycle - clearly, I'm fluffy and struggling to lose weight.
Today, July 29th... I'm loving myself more than I'm loving food. Food is here to help me survive. I need it to live. And I want to live a fantastic day today.
1) Peanut Butter anything - cookies, shakes, pie, cheesecake, or even by itself. Hmmmm peanut butter.
2) Eggs - anyway.
3) Cottage cheese - love it plain, love it with cherry tomatoes and jalepeno strip thingys, love it with mango and tajin.
4) CHERRIES!! OMG!!!
5) Pupusas - I'm afraid I've already had the best at La Manana on E 7th, so I'm scared to try anywhere else.
6) Spreadable cheese - Laughing Cow's Spicy Pepper one is amazing!
7) Cheesecake - prefer just plain cheesecake - or the one with the glazed strawberry on top at Cafe Latte.
8) Donuts - nothing jelly filled though
9) Alfredo - unfortunately I could just drink it.
10) Pickles! Omg, these have been a godsend to have with lunches! TOTAL Godsend! :)
I'm going to go have a fantastic day. You should to.
I love food. I love it a bit too much.
Love it more than I love myself sometimes.
Which is a vicious cycle - clearly, I'm fluffy and struggling to lose weight.
Today, July 29th... I'm loving myself more than I'm loving food. Food is here to help me survive. I need it to live. And I want to live a fantastic day today.
1) Peanut Butter anything - cookies, shakes, pie, cheesecake, or even by itself. Hmmmm peanut butter.
2) Eggs - anyway.
3) Cottage cheese - love it plain, love it with cherry tomatoes and jalepeno strip thingys, love it with mango and tajin.
4) CHERRIES!! OMG!!!
5) Pupusas - I'm afraid I've already had the best at La Manana on E 7th, so I'm scared to try anywhere else.
6) Spreadable cheese - Laughing Cow's Spicy Pepper one is amazing!
7) Cheesecake - prefer just plain cheesecake - or the one with the glazed strawberry on top at Cafe Latte.
8) Donuts - nothing jelly filled though
9) Alfredo - unfortunately I could just drink it.
10) Pickles! Omg, these have been a godsend to have with lunches! TOTAL Godsend! :)
I'm going to go have a fantastic day. You should to.
Monday, July 23, 2018
My Why!
Being a heavy weight gal...
Trying to stay on track...
and having mild depression...
Isn't the easiest thing.
I'm trying to remember my why - and sometimes it gets lost in the feelings of sadness, loneliness, and embarrassment.
Well - my why got lost completely last night - actually this whole weekend. I didn't fall completely off the rails, but I didn't care what and how much I put in my mouth.
UNTIL...
I woke up this morning.
When I woke up I remembered exactly why I don't do this to myself. Why I can't do this to myself.
Last night I indulged on pop tarts, the banana cake Ella made, peanut butter, nutella, and frosting.
On top of the pupusas, chicken tenders, m&m's, french fries, etc.
It's awful. Why did I do it? I'm not sure. If I really sit and think about it, it all stems to my anxiety. I was anxious all weekend about Ella leaving for camp yesterday. Even though its the 2nd time she's gone to this camp. She's going to be far away from me and I'll miss her terribly.
And then she left. And I didn't allow myself ot follow plan. I lost myself. With BINGO, I just ate and ate. It was awful.
I felt empty without her there. Hopefully I can keep that in the back of my head for the rest of the week. Good thing I get to go out for dinner with people this week. It's going to be a great week without her. But why can't I allow myself just to succeed?
Just fricking do it Sam.
I need to remember the Why in it all.
I don't want to fall again and be in so much pain - that I truly think I broke or fratctured my hip.
I want to be able to keep up with Ella.
I want to show Ella that being active and eating healthier is actually a great way to live.
I want to look better in my clothes
I want to feel better in my clothes
I want to be more comfortable in my skin
I want heels to be a breeze to wear.
I want to find a STUNNING dress for the next banquet.
I want to hear the compliments of how I look
I want to hear the statements where they say I am motivating them
I want to feel like a new person.
I want to thrive.
I don't want to fall down and stay down again.
I deserve happiness.
I deserve to see the end goal.
I deserve to see the finish line.
I deserve to lose it all and become lifetime.
Trying to stay on track...
and having mild depression...
Isn't the easiest thing.
I'm trying to remember my why - and sometimes it gets lost in the feelings of sadness, loneliness, and embarrassment.
Well - my why got lost completely last night - actually this whole weekend. I didn't fall completely off the rails, but I didn't care what and how much I put in my mouth.
UNTIL...
I woke up this morning.
When I woke up I remembered exactly why I don't do this to myself. Why I can't do this to myself.
Last night I indulged on pop tarts, the banana cake Ella made, peanut butter, nutella, and frosting.
On top of the pupusas, chicken tenders, m&m's, french fries, etc.
It's awful. Why did I do it? I'm not sure. If I really sit and think about it, it all stems to my anxiety. I was anxious all weekend about Ella leaving for camp yesterday. Even though its the 2nd time she's gone to this camp. She's going to be far away from me and I'll miss her terribly.
And then she left. And I didn't allow myself ot follow plan. I lost myself. With BINGO, I just ate and ate. It was awful.
I felt empty without her there. Hopefully I can keep that in the back of my head for the rest of the week. Good thing I get to go out for dinner with people this week. It's going to be a great week without her. But why can't I allow myself just to succeed?
Just fricking do it Sam.
I need to remember the Why in it all.
I don't want to fall again and be in so much pain - that I truly think I broke or fratctured my hip.
I want to be able to keep up with Ella.
I want to show Ella that being active and eating healthier is actually a great way to live.
I want to look better in my clothes
I want to feel better in my clothes
I want to be more comfortable in my skin
I want heels to be a breeze to wear.
I want to find a STUNNING dress for the next banquet.
I want to hear the compliments of how I look
I want to hear the statements where they say I am motivating them
I want to feel like a new person.
I want to thrive.
I don't want to fall down and stay down again.
I deserve happiness.
I deserve to see the end goal.
I deserve to see the finish line.
I deserve to lose it all and become lifetime.
Blog Challenge - Day 10 - Best Trip of Your Life
Best Trip of my life?
Well... I'm going to have to say the trip where I got to take Ella down to Florida in 2015.
We stayed in a townhouse for a few days and then stayed with my aunt and uncle a few days.
We did the Universal Studios two days, Medevil Times dinner, and we hung out at the beach.
It was a stressful trip, but worth it.
Can't wait to go on out next adventure.
Saturday, July 14, 2018
Blog Challenge - Day 9 - "What's in Your Bag"
First and foremost, trying to squeeze time into blog EVERY day has been difficult and I don't care. I've got plenty of living to do.
I'm proud I'm on day 9, and even though it's taking me over 30 days to get to Day 9, I'm proud I'm still doing it.
Today's topic is weird, "What's in Your Bag?"
Why do you care? I mean really???
I will almost always have 2 different types of something for my lips (lipstick, chapstick/lip balm, and lip gloss is pictured). I ALWAYS have gum, lighters, pens, and body spray/perfume.
My WW books, a Bingo dobber, business cards, the infamous wallet, mints, keys (obviously), and nicotine gum keeps me going.
My purse isn't anything fancy, it's Merona - which I scored at the MN Home Outlet about 6 months ago for $15 and the wallet and lil pouch thing are from Thirty-One.
Nothing fancy - but sometimes if someone asks about the wallet, I'll tell them its a fancy dead lizard of some sorts to get their facial expression. lol
Well now your nosey self wants to see what it looks like all laid out, I'm sure...
It's ok - I'd be nosy too.
I'm proud I'm on day 9, and even though it's taking me over 30 days to get to Day 9, I'm proud I'm still doing it.
Today's topic is weird, "What's in Your Bag?"
Why do you care? I mean really???
I will almost always have 2 different types of something for my lips (lipstick, chapstick/lip balm, and lip gloss is pictured). I ALWAYS have gum, lighters, pens, and body spray/perfume.
My WW books, a Bingo dobber, business cards, the infamous wallet, mints, keys (obviously), and nicotine gum keeps me going.
My purse isn't anything fancy, it's Merona - which I scored at the MN Home Outlet about 6 months ago for $15 and the wallet and lil pouch thing are from Thirty-One.
Nothing fancy - but sometimes if someone asks about the wallet, I'll tell them its a fancy dead lizard of some sorts to get their facial expression. lol
Well now your nosey self wants to see what it looks like all laid out, I'm sure...
It's ok - I'd be nosy too.
Saturday, July 7, 2018
Blog Challenge - Day 8 - "Your 5 Current Goals"
Gosh, it's been awhile.
This blog day challenge - is that: a challenge.
I don't know my current goals. I have no clue what's going on anymore. My head is constantly analyzing and sorting things, but never putting them into action.
Every Merchandising/Marketing meeting my boss puts on her agenda "A goal is a wish without a plan".
And when I came to this day in my challenge to blog, I stalled. I honestly am so confused with life, that I don't know what's up or down.
Ya know, as I over analyze things, it dawned on me. It's simple.
1) Finish this blog challenge
2) Finish the book I'm reading "Out of Line" by Barbara Lynch
3) STICK TO WEIGHT WATCHERS
4) Get my passport
5) Get through this court thing
That's not too scary.
I gotta stop over analyzing things. The answers are right there.
This blog day challenge - is that: a challenge.
I don't know my current goals. I have no clue what's going on anymore. My head is constantly analyzing and sorting things, but never putting them into action.
Every Merchandising/Marketing meeting my boss puts on her agenda "A goal is a wish without a plan".
And when I came to this day in my challenge to blog, I stalled. I honestly am so confused with life, that I don't know what's up or down.
Ya know, as I over analyze things, it dawned on me. It's simple.
1) Finish this blog challenge
2) Finish the book I'm reading "Out of Line" by Barbara Lynch
3) STICK TO WEIGHT WATCHERS
4) Get my passport
5) Get through this court thing
That's not too scary.
I gotta stop over analyzing things. The answers are right there.
Sunday, June 17, 2018
Blog Challenge - Day 7 - Your 5 Favorite Songs
Hello there -
Been in my head the past few days - and just wanted a minute to be there. Not a bad place, just a place to get away from being unnumb.
Also - I didn't want to come up with 5 lame songs just to come up with songs.
First song - is a no brainer if you've read my post of the favorite quotes. Nothing Else Matters by Metallica. The ballad is beautiful. Timeless. And transparent. I love it.
Second song - Deliver Me by Sarah Brightman. It's from one of my all time favorite movies on friendship, love, sacrafice, and courage - Brokedown Palace. I fell in love with song when I was pregnant with my Ella. I was so lost. Didn't know where I was going, didn't know how to conquer motherhood, and this just hit the spot. In the 12 years that my Ella has been on this earth with me, every time I hear it, I fall even more in love with her. She's my rock. She has shown me my way without doing a darn thing. I hope I'm everything for her too.
Third Song - Turn the Page by either Metallica or Bob Seger. It's a classic. I could listen to it over and over and over again. And have.
Forth Song - 4 Non Blondes - What's UP. It's a great song. It kicks my ass in karaoke, but it's one that every body sings with you on.
Fifth and final song - Mayonaisse by the Smashing Pumpkins. Another great ballad that resonates a place from my early teenage years. Another lost place. Another place where I was trying to find myself, figure out the pain, and understand the future.
Been in my head the past few days - and just wanted a minute to be there. Not a bad place, just a place to get away from being unnumb.
Also - I didn't want to come up with 5 lame songs just to come up with songs.
First song - is a no brainer if you've read my post of the favorite quotes. Nothing Else Matters by Metallica. The ballad is beautiful. Timeless. And transparent. I love it.
Second song - Deliver Me by Sarah Brightman. It's from one of my all time favorite movies on friendship, love, sacrafice, and courage - Brokedown Palace. I fell in love with song when I was pregnant with my Ella. I was so lost. Didn't know where I was going, didn't know how to conquer motherhood, and this just hit the spot. In the 12 years that my Ella has been on this earth with me, every time I hear it, I fall even more in love with her. She's my rock. She has shown me my way without doing a darn thing. I hope I'm everything for her too.
Third Song - Turn the Page by either Metallica or Bob Seger. It's a classic. I could listen to it over and over and over again. And have.
Forth Song - 4 Non Blondes - What's UP. It's a great song. It kicks my ass in karaoke, but it's one that every body sings with you on.
Fifth and final song - Mayonaisse by the Smashing Pumpkins. Another great ballad that resonates a place from my early teenage years. Another lost place. Another place where I was trying to find myself, figure out the pain, and understand the future.
Wednesday, June 13, 2018
Blog Challenge - Day 6 - What Are You Afraid Of?
What am I afraid of?
In all honesty - everything.
I'm afraid of being alone forever, even though I have a wonderful support system of friends, family, and coworkers. But, I'm afraid I will never find that one true love that I get to share this life with.
I'm afraid that I will never continue to succeed.
That one day someone will tell me I'm not worth it.
That I will become ill to the point where I can not work, take care of others, or result in death.
I'm afraid that my daughter will follow my exact footsteps. Even though - they've brought me to where I'm at, I'm still not as satisified as to where I'm at. I want more for us.
I'm afraid that I will never be content with myself. I will never be happy. I will never just live.
I am afraid that people see me as selfish, untrustworthy, or rude.
I'm afraid of caterpillars.
I'm afraid of death, hurt, and failure.
I'm afraid of taking chances and succeeding or failing.
I'm afraid of disappointnment.
In all honesty - everything.
I'm afraid of being alone forever, even though I have a wonderful support system of friends, family, and coworkers. But, I'm afraid I will never find that one true love that I get to share this life with.
I'm afraid that I will never continue to succeed.
That one day someone will tell me I'm not worth it.
That I will become ill to the point where I can not work, take care of others, or result in death.
I'm afraid that my daughter will follow my exact footsteps. Even though - they've brought me to where I'm at, I'm still not as satisified as to where I'm at. I want more for us.
I'm afraid that I will never be content with myself. I will never be happy. I will never just live.
I am afraid that people see me as selfish, untrustworthy, or rude.
I'm afraid of caterpillars.
I'm afraid of death, hurt, and failure.
I'm afraid of taking chances and succeeding or failing.
I'm afraid of disappointnment.
Tuesday, June 12, 2018
Blog Challenge - Day 5 - Your Proudest Moment
Day 5...
Proudest Moment...
MY proudest moment.
Gotta be honest, I don't have a clue anymore. I'm a proud mother, friend, coworker, and person.
There's been many moments in Ella's life that I've been so incredibly proud that it hurts, but that's being proud of her, not of myself.
I guess my moment would be when I accepted a job as an Account Manager. The promotion changed my life. I remember the feeling of emotion that went through my entire body as I read the offer letter, and saw the $56K as my base salary noted. Plus incentives.
I could quit my 2nd job. I could finally be someone in the US Foods world.
I was so excited!
Proudest Moment...
MY proudest moment.
Gotta be honest, I don't have a clue anymore. I'm a proud mother, friend, coworker, and person.
There's been many moments in Ella's life that I've been so incredibly proud that it hurts, but that's being proud of her, not of myself.
I guess my moment would be when I accepted a job as an Account Manager. The promotion changed my life. I remember the feeling of emotion that went through my entire body as I read the offer letter, and saw the $56K as my base salary noted. Plus incentives.
I could quit my 2nd job. I could finally be someone in the US Foods world.
I was so excited!
Monday, June 11, 2018
Blog Challenge - Day 4 - Your Dream Job
Dream job...
Well, of course, it would be something where money would definietly be no object.
I would want to volunteer at a community center, help bring programs to life, serve the community, and help get more involvement into the communities.
I love working with my hands, managing projects, and wowing people every chance I get.
The community center would have to have an endless budget as well. Nobody should have to go without.
That's my dream job.
Well, of course, it would be something where money would definietly be no object.
I would want to volunteer at a community center, help bring programs to life, serve the community, and help get more involvement into the communities.
I love working with my hands, managing projects, and wowing people every chance I get.
The community center would have to have an endless budget as well. Nobody should have to go without.
That's my dream job.
Sunday, June 10, 2018
Blog Challenge - Day 3 - Your Favorite Quote
Your favorite quote...
Your favorite quote....
So hard to narrow down to just one, but there are two that immediately come to mind.
The first one is from the Marines.
You can kinda associate this with everything internal and external. I've always loved this statement. It found me after my break up with the ex who beat the piss outta me. No, I'm not a Marine. But... the more I think of it, I am kinda a bad ass for all the shit I've been through. And everytime the shit takes me down a notch, I ALWAYS come out stronger and tougher. I may be bruised and I'll limp a bit, but I always allow the pain to escape.
The second one is something that comes from my all time favorite song.
For me, it will always trump every other song in the world.
I will forever love this song.
It will forever change my day when I hear it.
It always has a way of sending a shiver up my spine and radiates me.
When I get hitched to Mr Right, I want to walk down the aisle to these words being played musically.
When I hear this song and feel the words it helps shift my mind about a person, project, or sometimes myself.
Just my song.
Everyone who knows me, associates me with this song.
It's Nothing Else Matters by Metallica:
So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
And nothing else matters
Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
And nothing else matters
Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters
Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
But I know
Saturday, June 9, 2018
Blog Challenge - Day 2 - 20 Random Facts About You
June 9th
1) I like to bake
2) I go to kickboxing classes
3) My favorite color is purple
4) I have no idea what I'm doing with my life
5) I own my own home
6) I am a single mother to a 12 year old Mini Me
7) I love EVERYTHING about St Paul
8) I have to sleep with the blankets touching my face
9) Coffee black - please. Unless it's a fancy coffee, then let's get technical - Extra shot of espresso, Almond Milk, just a skosh of sweetner, and an even tinier skosh of flavor
10) I fricking LOVE Metallica
11) I quit smoking 311 days ago (but who's counting) (and I'm now addicted to the nicotine gum)
12) I have some OCD tendencies on the weirdest crap. From the way someone cuts a sammich, to others grammar
13) I'm in love with Target, Menards, Aldi's, and the Goodwill
14) I've never been water skiing
15) I've never been married
16) I love dogs, but have never had a dog
17) I have two cats - that wouldn't allow me to have a dog
18) I grew up learning the restaurant industry - not so much cooking cheffy like, but being in the chaotic industry and I thrive in it.
19) I like fruit
20) I love LOVE to volunteer my time to organizations, other people, or practically just give myself to others and never take care of me.
Done.
1) I like to bake
2) I go to kickboxing classes
3) My favorite color is purple
4) I have no idea what I'm doing with my life
5) I own my own home
6) I am a single mother to a 12 year old Mini Me
7) I love EVERYTHING about St Paul
8) I have to sleep with the blankets touching my face
9) Coffee black - please. Unless it's a fancy coffee, then let's get technical - Extra shot of espresso, Almond Milk, just a skosh of sweetner, and an even tinier skosh of flavor
10) I fricking LOVE Metallica
11) I quit smoking 311 days ago (but who's counting) (and I'm now addicted to the nicotine gum)
12) I have some OCD tendencies on the weirdest crap. From the way someone cuts a sammich, to others grammar
13) I'm in love with Target, Menards, Aldi's, and the Goodwill
14) I've never been water skiing
15) I've never been married
16) I love dogs, but have never had a dog
17) I have two cats - that wouldn't allow me to have a dog
18) I grew up learning the restaurant industry - not so much cooking cheffy like, but being in the chaotic industry and I thrive in it.
19) I like fruit
20) I love LOVE to volunteer my time to organizations, other people, or practically just give myself to others and never take care of me.
Done.
Friday, June 8, 2018
Blog Challenge - Day 1 - "Your Blogs Name"
June 8th -
Day 1 - Your Blog's Name....
I need to change my mindset - yet again. I need to focus on achieving a goal, whether it's small or large, so why not try and challenge my mind with some writing?
So, I googled "Blog Challenges" and this is the first one that came up:
 |
| https://www.pinterest.com/madison_23/30-day-challenges/ |
Well my "screen name" BakingMomma... is kinda obvious, I'm a baking Mom. I used to bake ALL THE DARN TIME. I'd bake for bake sales, birthday parties, grad parties, just because parties, going away parties, and weddings.
It started with baking to just bake, the smell of the oven baking whatever was so relaxing to me. Like incense to a stoner. And then I noticed I just kept baking, and baking, and baking... This was about 8 years ago where I would just bake to bake. It was something that I did to get my mind away from the chaos that was battling in my brain. I had just gotten out of a seriously effed up relationship and fell into baking. Then a friend of mine suggested to learn how to decorate, so I took a few decorating class... started selling my baking creations... but it just wasn't as fulfilling. It took the fun out of baking.
And then the Momma portion of my screen name is self explanatory. I'm a momma to a beautiful daughter - who is now 12 going on 20. I have 2 fur baby cats - Leroy and Aries. And I practically am a Momma to everyone I meet. I care for everyone, I have a home that everyone can walk into and just relax and enjoy themselves. I'm a Momma through and through.
Now... to go with my the name of my blog "So Cliche...but, JUST Do it". I've always battled weight. Losing weight, keeping it off, and allowing myself to succeed in anything. A lot of it has to do with having a narcissistic mother, in every time I get ahead with something, she's done it better and faster AND if I don't do it her way, it's not the right way.
Any whosits - I just need to do it, I don't think I'm ready though. I need to grab ahold of my health and just allow myself to lose weight and be healthy. I've quit smoking - I should be able to lose 80-100 lbs.
Sunday, January 7, 2018
Morning Beautiful Souls
I owe you an intro. Samantha here from the beautiful city of St. Paul, MN.
I'm a single mom to an amazingly sassy just-like-me 12 year old that we call Ella, Peanut Butter, Baby Girl, Smella, Pookie, and Talula. She's my world and because she deserves the world I try and give it to her. I work full time in the food service industry by selling restaurant equipment and supplies (I get to help open new restaurants). I LOVE my job, but the biggest set back of working in this industry is the fact of all the FOOD. My office sits in front of a HUGE warehouse of FOOD. FOOD!!!!! They have samplings all the time, treat their employees to food trucks, free lunches, dinner an drinks. You get the point, right?
Because I've been in the industry I've been able to maintain my food baby belly 230ish for the last 5 years while doing I've been a WWer since 2011, where I joined along side Allie Heutmaker. We kicked ass for 7 months straight and then life happened and I got incredibly busy with going back to work and taking care of a kiddo in kindergarten, so I've just been in this trance of taking care of my world, Ella and maintaining 20 ish pounds. I'd love to get down to 150ish. So, 86 pounds to go. Uufda.
Now I'm waking up, my world needs me to be healthier and I need to refocus my efforts on myself to make me better for her. Just quit smoking 158 days ago and have been trying to refocus my life after my break up with my boyfriend, job drama, a car accident, and the holidays.
My friend Krystal, aka Cooter, Bit%$, Hooker, etc... (our pet names are fun) is kinda in the same boat as I. We've got a plan for January 2019. Us single momma's to some teenage girls are going to escape and find a tropical island/beach and get pampered, like we deserve. And we want to go not only go because we deserve it but we want to feel and look our best! Gotta get our groove back, ya know?
Wow, that's a big intro. lol HELP. I have a busy life, mind, and BIG goals.
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